no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
