I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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