i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
so much tequila, so little girl.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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