but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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