I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
