Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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