Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
My breasts were aching with rage.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
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