I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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