12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
