plz talk dirty to me
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
