Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
