So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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