I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
