apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize