Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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