So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
