Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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