I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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