If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
