Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize