Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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