this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
