Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
