I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
