why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
