Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
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