im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I'm always down for nudity.
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