She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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