1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
