You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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