I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Randomize