don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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