So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Randomize
