That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize