Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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