Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
