i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize