If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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