Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Randomize
