just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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