btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
