My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
i out mim tonsoeep
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