is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
