didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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