Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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