I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
