I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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