Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
he fucked my hip out of place.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
