tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
so much tequila, so little girl.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
