she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize