I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Vodka?
Forever.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Randomize
