My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
