Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
