In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
