"it" just moved
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
