One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
