Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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