i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
