Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
