Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
