Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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